He’s one of the most popular bible characters. Simon Peter. People are attracted to him, perhaps because he seems one of the most real; we can identify with him. He’s almost lovable because of his very transparent humanness. As you follow the account of Jesus’ life and watch Peter move with the Lord you are witness to the brash moments and the foolish ones, strong times and obviously weak moments. They’re all there.

People identify with Simon. Perhaps sometimes almost more for what he doesn’t do.
        He doesn’t follow through on the commitment he made.
        He doesn’t keep his word.
        He doesn’t remain loyal.

If you think the Bible is just an out of touch collection of stories, an escape, a total disconnect with reality, think again. The account of Simon Peter is brutally honest, painfully real. So real that many of us read his story and hear our story; look into the book and see our portrait.
        You, too?

The question - "Who do you say that I am?"
        The strong, rock-like reply.
The question - "Weren’t you with Jesus?"
        The shallow, quivering response.
The rooster crows.
        And Peter remembers - "No, Lord. I’d never do something like that!"

Crying, rushing out into the night - the specter of his deception haunting him.
Guilt and shame crowd him, cling to him.
        Guilt - the realization that I have done something wrong; I stand in violation; I’ve crossed the line; I’ve broken the trust.
        Shame - Guilt’s sister. The next one in line. Moving beyond what I DO and attaching itself to who I AM.
                I am bad.
                I am dirty.
                I am worth less - less than before; less than others.

All alone now - Jesus inside before the kangaroo court, the other disciples cowering behind bushes and locked doors somewhere in the dark.
        It’s just Peter, his guilt and his shame.
 

Ah, Peter - you’re really not alone.
We’re right there with you! Your brothers and sisters.
The yoke you carry with the twin burdens weighing you down - we know guilt and shame too, all too well.

True?

        Perhaps as a student you cheated on an exam at school - there was this one really important question which you needed, but which drew a great big blank in your mind. However you were able to sneak a peak at the student in front and to the left of you. Aced the exam. Your parents congratulated you. Maybe you even got an award. But somewhere in the back of your mind is the picture of you cheating... cheating... you!!

        Perhaps you got into a conflict with a fellow employee. Over the quality of a particular product which you both had a hand in producing. You begin to snipe away at him, gossiping behind his back at coffee break. He becomes alienated from fellow workers. Then one day, you realize suddenly that what went wrong WAS your fault. But you already have said so much..... Better keep quiet.
        But look at how the rest of the bunch are treating him now...

        Perhaps it wasn't at work. Perhaps it was at home: a conflict with your spouse or a brother or sister. Perhaps at church: a disagreement with a fellow Christian.

        Perhaps it was a deal in which you swindled another person. Or you reneged on a promise and left someone dangling; maybe hung them out to dry, maybe even maliciously.
        Looking back, you know it was wrong. But there is far too much water under the bridge to go back.

        So there you sit:
                Guilt.
                Shame.

Have you ever had an experience like that?
Maybe I should ask, "is there anyone here who has NOT experienced that sort of thing at one time or another in their life?"

You know how it goes, right? I think we all do.
Stuck. Feeling the weight. Wanting to get rid of this garbage.
So we deal with it.

Sometimes by trying to outrun the spooks of the past:
        quit school, get a divorce, find a different job, transfer out of the church, move to a different neighborhood.

Sometimes by pretending life is a big party, and you are the clown:
        everything is one big joke; everytime is a good time for a cynical comment, a smart remark, a snide jab.

Sometimes we get angry - maybe that’ll sort things out, or at least make us feel better:
        angry at the school, disgusted with politicians, spouting off about this or that which is always wrong in the church, rebelling again and again against parents.

Sometimes we try to drown out the the blame that guilt and shame keep heaping onto the fires of our conscience. We sweep it under the carpet of busyness:
        Serve on 4 different committees. Hold down two jobs and work 80+ hours/week. Get involved in 4 or 5 different social groups and clubs that keep you away from home every night of the week.

If all else fails, we try to rationalize it away:
        Well, given the circumstances what other choice did I have? I mean, we all are human. If I didn't do it to her, she would have done it to me. With a group like this what else could we have expected? At this stage of life, things like this are quite normal. I was from a disfunctional family...

Guilt - the realization that I have done something wrong; I stand in violation; I’ve crossed the line; I’ve broken the trust.
Shame - Guilt’s sister. The next one in line. Moving beyond what I DO and attaching itself to who I AM.

Very real.
And very powerful.

And if left unattended; if allowed to fester......
        Well, you know what happens with a bag of garbage that is overlooked and allowed to fester in a corner of the garage through a month or so of hot July weather!
        It doesn’t quietly go away, does it. No matter how much Lysol you spray into the air.

Know how that tends to show itself?
Among other ways,
    - in addictions to substances, activities, relationships or certain emotional states
    - Constant belittling, discounting, and criticism of one’s Self and/or others.
    - Excessive social isolation or a compulsion to socialize and be the center of attention.
    - Excessive concern with "Who's fault is (some problem) ?"; Often blaming Self or others.
    - Obsessing about "my rights" or "I (don't) deserve...," or "equality" or "fairness."
    - Excessive focus on personal, professional, social, and/or dwelling appearances.
    - A driven need to be #1.

We are right in the middle of the season of Lent.
        Lent brings us, forcibly, to stand before the cross. Beside Peter.
It strips away from us all pretense, quiets all the game playing and excuse making, cuts off all the blaming or distracting and challenges us to be thoroughly honest with ourselves.
        And honest to God.

Acknowledging in very specific, concrete, detailed ways not merely that we are like Peter, but how we are like Peter.
        We have all double-crossed God, failed him, denied him.
        That’s one of the Bible’s givens. "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." (Romans 3.23) No getting around that or denying it.
        How has that appeared in your life?
        Between you and God - what will you say to him?

Or are you still back in the upper room, "No, Lord. Not me Lord. Never, Lord."
 

It’s a gut wrenching scene - Peter stumbling out into the night, shoulders heaving, strong wind-burned fisherman eyes wet with tears, rock solid heart shattered.

What Peter doesn’t realize then is that even as that happens, a solution is being prepared for him. Even as he runs, heaven is working salvation. No matter his unfaithfulness, God’s holy grace remains rock sure.

In time Peter comes to see that.
John 21 describes the encounter between the risen Christ and this humbled man, Simon. His forgiveness. His restoration.
        It’s an amazing scene that I’d encourage you to read at home, either alone or with your family.
        How Jesus peels back the layers and exposes everything once, twice, three times - for each denial.
        How Jesus welcomes this struggling servant and friend.
        How Jesus has a place of belonging for him again.

It’s because of this gracious renewal that Peter, the man whose name means "rock", is able to write, years later, these words. I’d invite you to read them with me -

Peter, the Rock, points to the greater Rock, who set him free, rebuilt him, restored him. Counts him as precious.
        Deals, once for all, with the guilt.
        Removes the shame.

God made Jesus pay the penalty - the guilt is dealt with.
God considered Jesus worthless and turned a holy back on Him - and so looks at Peter, at you, at me, at all who will surrender to Jesus......
        .....He looks at us and declares us precious, worthy, pure.
                "My precious, precious child!"

        The death and resurrection, the forgiveness of Jesus Christ is bigger than the biggest of all Peter's possible errors, intentional or otherwise.
        The death and resurrection, the forgiveness of Jesus Christ is bigger than the biggest of all YOUR possible errors too, intentional or otherwise!!

And the great news of the Bible is that God will NEVER say, "Well too bad! That's once too often you've let me down. I can't take you or trust you or love you any more! You're history!"
        Jesus said, "I will never turn back or chase away anyone who comes to me." (John 6:37)

Try to deal with the haunting memories of real wrongs, with the guilt, with the shame;
        try to deal with these things on your own and somewhere down the pipe things are guaranteed to come apart. You’ll trip up. Things will shatter.

Instead, Lent calls us to bring them, honestly, and drop them at the cross.
        No running.
        No pointing fingers at others.
        No cover-ups.
        No rationalizing things away.

Come to the cross where a crucified, risen Saviour will pick up the pieces, cover them with his forgiveness and put them back together into a new, beautiful whole future.

Fellow worshiper, what’s your issue?
        A poisoned grudge, a resentful attitude, some cheap junk talk.
        Impurity with your boyfriend or while cruising the Net.
        Shady finances.
        Walking away from responsibilities.
        Keeping silent when you should speak up. Or the other way round.
 
 
 

You know.
And so does Jesus, who, says, Luke 22, turned to look straight at Peter the moment he denied him.
 
 
 

The load you carry - where will you bring it?